Strategies for Effective Communication with your Spouse During an Argument

Effective communication is the foundation for a healthy marriage. It is a bridge to understanding, connecting, and deepening your love for one another. As we know, conflict and disagreements in a marriage are inevitable - how you navigate these conversations is what matters. In this post I will be sharing some key strategies for effectively communicating with your spouse.

Use "I Statements"

Using "I" statements in an argument promotes healthier communication by enabling you to express your feelings, thoughts, and needs without blaming your partner. This approach evokes greater empathy and understanding between couples. To do so, you must first be in tune with your own emotions. What led you to feeling this way? Where are these emotions coming from? How do certain emotions feel in your body? How do you label the sensation you are feeling? These reflective questions are vital as they help you to first understand yourself before communicating that understanding with your spouse.

Practice Mindfulness

During a heated argument, many couples may bring up past issues, despite it having little relevance to the current discussion. This can lead to a cycle of anger and resentment. It's important to focus on the current issue at hand and avoid revisiting past conflicts during an argument. Practicing mindfulness during a disagreement allows you to be fully present to the current topic of discussion.

Use Your Coping Skills

Have you ever said something to your spouse during a heated argument that you immediately regretted? That's because when we are angry or frustrated our emotions cloud our judgment and problem solving abilities. Therefore, it is important to practice your coping skills in the moment - skills like deep breathing, costing, mindfulness - can ground you and enable you to communicate more effectively and calmly. Remember to pay attention to your body's signs that indicate distress such as increased temperature, shaking, rapid heart beat, or sweating.

Listen

If there is anything you take from this article, I hope it is this. Listen. Too often our attention is consumed by thinking about our response rather than truly hearing our spouse. In doing so, we overlook the messages they're trying to convey. Listening shows the other person that you care - about them, about the issue, and ultimately, about your marriage. It is a simple yet powerful tool that both validates and connects others. You can show your partner that you are listening by making eye contact, nodding your head, reflecting on their words, or summarizing their key points. Active listening takes practice, like all things, and can be transformative in your marriage.

Summary

Marriage takes work! It requires the couple to commit to one another daily. These healthy communication strategies will enable you to communicate more effectively during an argument. Moreover, they will help you to better understand and connect with your spouse. I hope this was helpful! Let me know in the comments below what other topics relating you marriage you're interested in learning more about!